Contemplating Leaving
Tomorrow Dad and I drive home and I am not looking forward to it. I’m not looking forward to going back to my cold & drafty house, I’m not looking forward to going back to being alone all the time. I’m not looking forward to going back to my old routine. I’m not looking forward to being so far removed from friends & family.
So much has gone on here internally that it’s really making me think and reevaluate the status quo I’ve been living with for so long. I feel I need to make some changes but am not sure what those should be or how to go about making decisions about my future. It’s upsetting me.
I have great things going on for me back home, but some of the big things I want in my life are completely missing there, making me feel like I have an incomplete life. I am 36 and feeling alive and vibrant and I don’t want an incomplete life. And the more I think about it, the more I wonder if I’ll ever get what I feel I need back there.
Better go before I cover Chris’s lovely MacBook Pro keyboard with tears…
Wandering Coyote 
Leaving is always hard. The same is true whether it’s leaving a great vacation with family or friends or leaving a situation and a place in which you are settled and have a support system. Take it slowly, no need to rush to any decisions.
I’m terrible with goodbyes, even if they are just “so longs”.
And change is always stressful. What kind of changes are you thinking of making?
You’ve achieved so much! Can I ask what makes you feel incomplete?
Thanks for your comments, guys. 🙂
I’m not ready to blog about this stuff yet, though. You’ll know when I am!
I have followed your blog for a while now and it does seem that you live in an area where dating wise you are pretty much out of luck. Being that you are so young still and have a lot to offer, maybe it is time for you to move to where you can work on that part of your life.
There are more opportunities here and you would still be able to do your writing but you would be able to also get your social life going here.
Something to think about
I’ll bet that Juno will be happy to see you back home 🙂
It does sound like some changes are in order. End-of-vaca blues are one thing, but not being thrilled to get back home indicates something’s missing in your life. I know you’ll find that, whatever it is, but until you know what you need and how to get it I’m wishing you lots of strength and courage (which you already have, but some extra never hurts!).