Update

I went to the cardiologist yesterday for a follow-up appointment after having 3 heart tests in May: a Holter monitor, a stress test, and an echocardiogram.  There was great news all round!  My ejection fraction is up from 25% to 45%, which the doctor described as “minimally abnormal”; normal is 55% and above.  I had no fluid on my lungs or heart, and I haven’t had any edema.  The Holter test showed no abnormalities and the stress test showed that I have above average exercise capacity for my age group.

Thankfully, I get to ditch the evil Lasix, which kept me at home all morning peeing every 10 minutes for four hours.  I still have to take the spironolactone, which helps with heart function, but it doesn’t make me pee like the Lasix did.  I have to stay on the two heart meds, too.  I don’t have to weigh myself every day like I was, and I can go back to all my regular activities!  This is means I can go back to the gym and start weight lifting, something I’ve been eager to do because I have lost all my muscle strength and am very weak.

I just can’t get pregnant, though.  Gee, I’ll try real hard, I thought when he said that, internally rolling my eyes.  Pregnancy would be an option if my ejection fraction ever goes back to normal, and I would have to go off all the heart meds since they cause problems in fetuses.

But whatever!  I am stoked!

And with that good news, I have decided to take a break from Facebook and disable my account there for a while.  I have been spending too much time on that site, and it’s really triggering a lot of feelings in me, sometimes exacerbating other feelings I already have strongly enough, like loneliness, lack of self esteem, sadness, and being almost 40 and feeling like I’ve failed in life compared to my peers.  I also don’t need to be inundated with unpleasant shit that appears in my news feed, such as animal abuse, environmental crap, and my personal fave, a picture and story about the elephant that was decapitated while still alive.  Yeah, I can live without that, thank you very much.

The FB break started today, and I am already feeling a bit lost as to what to do with myself.  I’m used to being parked in front of my computer so much, and now that I don’t have the FB diversion anymore, I need to figure out what to do with my time.  I have been reading a lot, which is good, and I plan to do more, and to bake more, too.

But although I am determined to have a good break from FB so that I can deal with some feelings and get over a few things, I am already feeling a bit lonelier and more isolated than I was before.

We’ll see how it goes.

BTW, I have updated ReTorte with a few items; perhaps I’ll get back into food blogging.  You can check that out here.